I have pretty much come to the conclusion (and have know for a long time) that labor and delivery is going to hurt and hurt BAD. I know that there is absolutely no turning back, nor do I want to. I do not regret the decision of ever knowing about Jack. He means the world to me, and I haven't even officially met him yet. However, my flesh gets the best of me and I tend to worry a lot at times. Such is the case here. I can't seem to get it out of my mind. Because of that, other things have fallen by the way side. Certain chores and responsibilities have become neglected despite my recent blog posts about life management.
Okay, so I told you that this post is about something totally different.
The Lord has already used several people in my life, just in the last two days, to turn my focus toward Him. For that, I am thankful! The first instance occurred around noon yesterday. I was reading a blog post from a friend. Now, remember, I had already been well into my self-pity party. She was talking about the chaos of life and how important it is to rely on the "Person who promises peace." It was just what I needed to get a slap back into reality! If you're interested in reading her blog, you may do so here. I trust that you will find it encouraging. It is so nice to have friends! I'm speaking to ALL of you!
A few hours later, I was back into my pity party. Then, my mother called. All she had to do was hear something in my voice and she asked if I was okay. I couldn't keep the tears from coming. To make a long story short, my parents (my dad is home on Spring Break this week) had some very encouraging words to say as well. I was told to read Psalm 139. If there is ever anything that you are struggling with, I encourage you to go to that passage in the Scriptures. O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways (vv. 1-3). Of course, don't miss out on the rest of the passage! It is just as vital.
Not too long ago we decided to switch cell phone companies and plans to save money for Jack's arrival. We do not have a land line, so cell phones are our only means of communication in the even of an emergency. Because of the switch, we have been fortunate to have unlimited texting! Now before, we never really saw a need for it, nor did we even care to join the texting phenomenon at all. But I must say, when you don't have time for a phone call (or think you might be bothering someone) texting is the way to go! Yesterday, I was able to text with several of my family members--almost all at once! It was such a blessing to me. Later in the evening, I was also able to Skype with one of my aunts (and a cousin!) who lives in Indiana!! Ahhhhhhhhh . . . Technology!! What did we ever do without it??
Also, let me say, I have the best husband in the world! I don't want to leave him out of yesterdays encouragement. While, he has been having his own issues to deal with this week, he still manages to encourage me. He is my very own personal cheerleader. He wouldn't like it that I used that term to describe him! Every day he tells me that I can go through with this. That I will be great. There is slight hesitation on my part, but I think I'm starting to believe him.
That brings me to today. I know this is getting long but I don't want to leave this part out at all. I decided that I was going to listen to a sermon. Some of you may know that my brother is a youth pastor. I went into my iTunes playlists and I managed to find a sermon that he preached a couple of summers ago at the church that we grew up in. He spoke on Ecclesiastes and how Solomon sought out the meaning of life on earth. He had all of this "stuff." Are you seeing where I'm going with this?? He had fortune and mansions galore. He even built them for other people!! So, what does Solomon conclude? Our fulfillment is ultimately found in God alone. Not in our academics. Not in our amusements. Not in our accomplishments. Not in our possessions. It's okay to be happy but our satisfaction should be in God. God gave him wisdom and he had the wisdom to figure out the True meaning of life. Solomon says, Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man (Ecc. 12:13).
So, my thoughts?? Well, in light of eternity, whatever happens in the delivery room happens. I can't really control it. Whatever I don't get done before Jack comes, it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that my focus is continually on God and God alone. He is where I get fulfillment.
My brother ended his sermon with this quote by missionary, Jim Elliot. May it also be our prayer each day. God, I pray Thee, light these idle sticks of my life that I may burn for Thee. Consume my life, my God, for it is Thine. I seek not a long life but a full one like You, Lord Jesus.
